A Letter To My Son

I love you. I love you more than I will ever be able to express with words alone, but I'll still try. You are beautiful and wonderful and the only perfect thing I've ever done; the best decision I've ever made. No matter how hard life gets, no matter how challenging being a young mother can be, I will never regret you. Because you're the one thing I've gotten right so far. I'm so flawed, so incredibly imperfect. I've disappointed so many people in my 20 years and I've made countless bad choices. I've seen a hundred stormy days and I've cried a million tears. I've been hurt and I've hurt others. I'm impatient and jaded and dramatic and insecure. And yet here you are. This perfect, beautiful soul and I made you. You come from me, my flawed and broken self. In you I see God and goodness and love and mercy and every beautiful thing in this vast universe. You are love. You bring out the very best in me. You make me starry-eyed and passionate and driven. You make me want to be my very best self. I know I'm not impressive. I know that not everyone will admire me. There will be people who will always disapprove of my choices and see the very worst in me. But forget them. I have you. I might never have an important career or expensive clothes or a big house. I might not even finish college. But I'll always be your mom, a damn good one, and that makes me proud of me.