Be kind to yourselves, mamas.

I've recently been feeling very empathetic, much more than usual. Blame it on the hormones! It can be annoying when I feel tears coming on at the slightest provocation but at the same time I'm loving this new sense of love I have for others, especially women. 

I now fit into this category of "young moms" and I suddenly feel the heavy weight that comes with that title. The sense that I must always "explain" myself to my elders. To reassure them that I will "do something" with my life. That's not anyone's fault but my own. No one is making me feel the need to validate my actions but myself. But I must admit there's an unspoken societal pressure on young mothers to be great. I find myself hearing people tell me to "prove them wrong" and graduate from college, become a driven career woman. Let me reassure you in saying that if that's what I want, that's what I'll do. Nothing can stop me. But how do you know that's what I want? How do you know that's what any of us 20-something mamas want? It's a little presumptuous to assume every young mom had to give up her hopes and dreams. Is that true of some? Absolutely. That can be true of a mother at any age. Will I have the freedom that a 20 year old with zero commitments has? No. Will I get to party every weekend? Nope. Will I get to blow my money on shopping sprees just for me? Definitely not. Will I miss that stuff? Yes, especially the freedom. Am I upset about it? Not even a little. Because this is where I'm supposed to be right now. And I was never much of a partier anyway. 

I know there are people who look at me and other young moms and think "what a waste of youth." But that doesn't bother me a bit because I know that's their own insecurity shining through. And I know there are people who genuinely just want me to be able to enjoy my twenties without a little one to tie me down. To those people: thank you for your loving concern, but don't worry. Because I truly am so happy with where I am. 

This tangent has a point, I swear. It all comes back down to empathy. I feel so empathetic toward the young moms like me who have faced these judgements and have taken them harder than I have. I write this for you and every other mother out there who has been hard on herself for the mistakes she feels she's made and the things she did and didn't do. Be kind to yourself, mama. Because not everyone will be kind to you. Be gentle with yourself, because your babies don't care that you're behind on a couple of bills or that you lost your temper the other day. They don't care that you're struggling with a crappy job or that you haven't found the time to go back to school. Your babies love you because you're their mama. So be kind to yourselves and the moms around you. We're all doing our best.

Photo of my mama and I in 1994. I know I didn't discuss my own mom in this post but it's relevant because she was also a young mom who kicks ass and does things her way. I hope she is kind to herself because she's doing a great job.